The Dangers Of Codependency In Relationships

By Edna Booker


There are certain people that do not have any self worth and they usually rely on others to give them a sense of identity. A codependent relationship like this is very unhealthy as it often involves the person ignoring their own mental, emotional and physical needs in order to please and gain the approval of others. Codependency is often hard to identify and treat as there is usually denial involved.

In a healthy relationship, boundaries are important. Codependents usually have a problem with boundaries. Their boundaries may be blurred and they will often go to great lengths to fix others and feel an unnatural responsibility for their problems and feelings. They go out of their way to please but will also control and manipulate others to get what they need. They may also have rigid boundaries that do not allow others to see what they are feeling or allow them to feel close.

People-pleasing and care-taking are often used to control and manipulate others as they need them to act in a certain way to make them feel secure. Communication is no longer honest as a result. There is an unhealthy clinging as they depend on their loved ones for fulfillment instead of finding it in themselves. They often give support to their partners at the cost of their own physical, emotional and mental health.

They will often remain in an abusive relationship because they are so afraid of being alone. They will end up supporting addiction, self-destructive behavior and immaturity because they are3 too fearful to address it. They have such low self-esteem that they are trapped in the relationship. As a result they experience shame, anger, resentment, despair and depression.

A partner of a codependent person will often do little to discourage the dependency. They cater to the behavior as they feel that they are helping the person. However, they are actually just preventing any change from taking place. It is possible to break these patterns of behavior but it is often difficult for a couple to do this without help.

There is often denial on the part of a codependent person in such a situation. They always feel that the other person or the situation is the real problem. Although some codependents appear needy, others act self-sufficient when it comes to needing help. They will not reach out and ask for help. Behavior habits are deeply ingrained and often difficult to identify and change.

There are many internet sites today dedicated to dealing with this problem. They help a sufferer to identify the problem by giving all the different symptoms. There are different levels of severity and the sooner some people receive help, the more likely they are to address the problem effectively and save their relationships.

In order to save such a relationship, it is necessary to establish boundaries and work on the self worth of both individuals. Professionals with experience in this area are available to offer guidance and support. This is often far better than trying to go it alone as these changes can be hard to make. However, there is hope of recovery and getting help can result in developing a more healthy relationship.




About the Author: