We each have these vital moments that we reach in our lives. Sometimes, for some, it happens sometime sooner than later. For others...it takes years upon years to reach that place. But we all reach that place. We all come to the point where we know, inside the deepest part of our hearts, that things must change. This want for change is like nothing you've ever experienced before. There truly is a different sort of energy to it. Honestly, there's a different feeling to it altogether.
You must do the scariest thing you will ever do - face your greatest nightmare...yourself.
My moment came in late 2011 and it was not by choice. I recollect standing in that loft, hearing words that I wouldn't forget, and literally watching myself from above crumble. I modified everything about myself in that minute. I compromised. I did anything and everything I could. In the end, I'll never forget that sense of turning to ashes. It wasn't the moment that did it, no, that was just the match. It was the whole piling up of dry leaves and hay from many years of neglect...and that tiny match was everything in took to spark something that would redefine me from that moment on.
That was only the start, seven days later, it reached its low point. Absolutely rock-bottom. I made a request to the heavens in that wretched black dark room, it wasn't granted, and I woke up the day after gazing at a crumbled landscape...with the understanding that I could reconstruct my entire world the way that I wanted it.
But I would face myself.
More importantly, I would have to burn everything down that I ever supported myself with. I would learn how to support myself for once, to not blame everything on everybody else, to be accountable for my entire life, and to ultimately let everything that was locked up and caged in me out. It had to all come out.
You see, when you build walls to keep things out, you also build walls to keep the superb things in you from ever reaching anyone. Love was walled in...hurt was walled out. Agony was kept away from me...joy stayed covered under the dust. I ran from fear...so my certainty and grounding ran from my life like the plague. I had to tear everything down. I had to tear my ego down. I had to tear down my projections. I had to rip apart everything and start over fresh.
I did that. I started writing. I started being fair about what was going on with me. I built everything back, stone by stone on a different foundation. My strong back and my heart would be the dense iron place from which I'd create.
What I realized on the way was this - those places you are scared to go, this is where your nightmare lives. It crawls around in that space. It's this thick dark leaking sort of discomfort that will frighten you to death. It frightens you as you think that if you go there you will get caught in it and drown. The actuality is, that's where your strength is. There's incalculable amounts of strength in going there. Just as there really is strength in great faith and light, there's equal unbelievable amounts of strength in going to that place that ravishes your heart with fear...and yet when you go through those places you develop this sort of belief in yourself that truly is beyond confidence. It's the sort of feeling that you know that everything around you could eventually be wiped out, and you could build it all back no matter the situation.
Power.
True power.
"Take from me everything world, and I am going to come back and build it back better...and no matter how you challenge me...I may continue to shine. "
Face your nightmare. Face your fears. You don't have to be afraid to let everything go for the opportunity to build it back better. Need love in your life? You're going to have to let go of everything on the opposite end that is hindering you. You really are going to have to dive deep down into the abyss of your soul, lantern in hand, without the conquering blade. No armor. No weapon. No type of effort to rise up above it.
You must go in exposed and vulnerable.
You can come out. You may cry, suffer, and hurt...but you will surely come out. I truly would never tell you to go anywhere that you could not come out of. I guarantee you, this is the one place you should go for everything to release. To build something new, to start living the grandest adventure you might ever live...you have to go here. The shadows. The depths. The darkness.
I promise you...this place, is where life starts.
You must do the scariest thing you will ever do - face your greatest nightmare...yourself.
My moment came in late 2011 and it was not by choice. I recollect standing in that loft, hearing words that I wouldn't forget, and literally watching myself from above crumble. I modified everything about myself in that minute. I compromised. I did anything and everything I could. In the end, I'll never forget that sense of turning to ashes. It wasn't the moment that did it, no, that was just the match. It was the whole piling up of dry leaves and hay from many years of neglect...and that tiny match was everything in took to spark something that would redefine me from that moment on.
That was only the start, seven days later, it reached its low point. Absolutely rock-bottom. I made a request to the heavens in that wretched black dark room, it wasn't granted, and I woke up the day after gazing at a crumbled landscape...with the understanding that I could reconstruct my entire world the way that I wanted it.
But I would face myself.
More importantly, I would have to burn everything down that I ever supported myself with. I would learn how to support myself for once, to not blame everything on everybody else, to be accountable for my entire life, and to ultimately let everything that was locked up and caged in me out. It had to all come out.
You see, when you build walls to keep things out, you also build walls to keep the superb things in you from ever reaching anyone. Love was walled in...hurt was walled out. Agony was kept away from me...joy stayed covered under the dust. I ran from fear...so my certainty and grounding ran from my life like the plague. I had to tear everything down. I had to tear my ego down. I had to tear down my projections. I had to rip apart everything and start over fresh.
I did that. I started writing. I started being fair about what was going on with me. I built everything back, stone by stone on a different foundation. My strong back and my heart would be the dense iron place from which I'd create.
What I realized on the way was this - those places you are scared to go, this is where your nightmare lives. It crawls around in that space. It's this thick dark leaking sort of discomfort that will frighten you to death. It frightens you as you think that if you go there you will get caught in it and drown. The actuality is, that's where your strength is. There's incalculable amounts of strength in going there. Just as there really is strength in great faith and light, there's equal unbelievable amounts of strength in going to that place that ravishes your heart with fear...and yet when you go through those places you develop this sort of belief in yourself that truly is beyond confidence. It's the sort of feeling that you know that everything around you could eventually be wiped out, and you could build it all back no matter the situation.
Power.
True power.
"Take from me everything world, and I am going to come back and build it back better...and no matter how you challenge me...I may continue to shine. "
Face your nightmare. Face your fears. You don't have to be afraid to let everything go for the opportunity to build it back better. Need love in your life? You're going to have to let go of everything on the opposite end that is hindering you. You really are going to have to dive deep down into the abyss of your soul, lantern in hand, without the conquering blade. No armor. No weapon. No type of effort to rise up above it.
You must go in exposed and vulnerable.
You can come out. You may cry, suffer, and hurt...but you will surely come out. I truly would never tell you to go anywhere that you could not come out of. I guarantee you, this is the one place you should go for everything to release. To build something new, to start living the grandest adventure you might ever live...you have to go here. The shadows. The depths. The darkness.
I promise you...this place, is where life starts.
About the Author:
Evan Sanders is the author of The Words Of Encouragement, a website dedicated to bringing the best quotes, motivational content on the web, and blogs all to one place. Need some more motivation and encouragement to keep moving forward? Dig into these life is too short quotes for a little bit of perspective on why you should drag yourself out of the darkness.